Some friends have recently decided that I need to try online dating. Not sure how I feel about this, but you know, I'm open to anything. Because I can't write about myself, SuperDaysh wrote my profile. What do you all think? (Note: Please read with a hint of sarcasm. It's meant to be a joke. I do not, repeat do not, own any cats.)
All about me:
To get started, the most important thing you need to know is that I’m cute, cuddly, drive a fantastic car and love all animals - I’m actually a bit of a pet lover. I have 12 cats, 2 birds and an adorable little shitsu puppy (but am not to be confused with a “crazy cat lady” because I have birds and a dog too!). They are all my best friends. We hang out all the time, watch chick flicks, eat ice cream and sometimes watch the sun come up together.
I’m incredibly smart, but don’t be turned off by that- I have the ditzy blonde routine down and will use it whenever necessary to make you feel better about yourself. Although I have my Bachelor’s degree (in MRS) and my Masters degree- don’t let that overwhelm or make you feel small and insignificant. I appreciate all people, with all variations of an education- all that matters is that that “spark” is there- and if it’s there- you can be the McDonalds manager for all I care.
Although my pets, my education and my cute car are wonderful, it was just recently that I felt something might be missing- that there might be more to life than just having incredibly dressed, adorable pets (my cats all wear the cutest, most fashionable clothes, of course) being really smart and driving a great car. That is why I’m here. Here to meet Mr. Right...quite literally. I’m pretty open to anyone, but if you’re last name happens to be “Right”, you get more brownie points (see points system below-Basically, the most points win.)
All in all, I’m just a normal, incredibly smart, pet loving person here to find true love and find true love’s first kiss. If you are interested, you may submit your resume and application to the address listed below (click link below to download the application). Can’t wait to hear from you!
Brownie Points System
Blonde hair 1 pt
Brunette 2 pt
Dark and handsome 10 pt
Under 5’5” -1 pt
Over 5’5” 3 pt
Have 2 or less pets 1 pt
Have more than 2 pets 10 pt
Have a cute car 10 pt
Last name “Right” 10 pt
Any other last name 5 pt
Rich 15 pt
Not rich 1 pt
For a better break down of points, please ask for a list with your application submission.
7 comments:
SuperDaysh is a genius, genius, GENIUS!! You are bound to get oodles and boodles of hits with this baby!
Oh yes, Fer! You are bound to attract many suitors!!!! Mostly those who still live with their mothers and wear their pants hiked up to their ears! ; )
Jen,
That's awesome! Let me know if it works out for you and maybe I'll put mine on-line too. :)
Since when do you like animals?
That is hilarious....BUT DON'T ONLINE DATE!!!
This makes me LOL. However, it could work out for you, you never know. Let us know. ;)
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