To say that you have been a year of change would be an understatement…maybe even the understatement of the year. Even as I sit here and write this letter to you, I’m not sure I can adequately express how I feel about you, 2010. Part of me hates your freakin’ guts and the other part of me is just so thankful for all I’ve learned and experienced. Part of me wants to start the year all over again and another part of me just wants you to be over and done with. You were, to say the least, quite a rollercoaster.
Even though a lot of change happened this year, I can honestly say that I am thankful for every single experience, good and bad. Thank you 2010 for bringing me a new niece. LizBit is such a precious gift you gave to our family this year. Your brother, 1976, was the last one to bring a girl into our little family. We were overjoyed to welcome another little bundle of pink goodness into our circle of love. Every time a new baby comes into our family I think that I couldn’t possibly love anymore than I already do. But, LizBit showed me that my heart is bigger than I ever imagined. I can’t even express how truly thankful I am for LizBit, CMan, and Mr. Mster. They are everything to me. Their hugs, their kisses, and even the little growls make my heart swell. For giving us LizBit, 2010, you kind of redeem yourself for all of the other garbage that happened. But just kind of.
The summer was certainly a challenge. I can’t really say that I was bothered by the heat, because honestly, I don’t remember it being terribly hot this year. Maybe that’s because I spent most of the summer locked in my office slaving away for a boss who never would truly appreciate me. Oh man, I wish I would have enjoyed some of those summer days a little bit more. I spent that week in the mountains at girls camp. That was my only summer vacation. Kind of pathetic, don’t you think 2010? I know there is a reason I was at girls camp and I know there are specific lessons and experiences that had to happen that week, but a trip to Vegas or NYC would have been nice.
I learned so much being in the Stake Young Womens Presidency. I love those women I served with and when I was released (darn those new stake boundaries) I was truly sad. I felt like I had broken up with my very best friends in the world. And now that I continue to serve with the young women, I truly know why I needed that brief experience in the stake. I needed to learn how a presidency functions, I needed to know all of the different aspects of young women, and I needed to learn to love the youth in a way I never had before. And now, 2010, you expect me to be the leader of this group of girls? I’m trying my best. Please ask 2011 to bring me some extra strength. I have a feeling I’ll be needing it.
Speaking of breakups, that sure sucked big time! I know I say this every time, but I did learn what I want and what I don’t want for my future. I did learn a lot from this relationship and I had a great time. For that, I’m thankful. But seriously, breakups are never fun and never what one puts down as their New Year’s resolutions.
The breakup from the job wasn’t exactly a picnic either. All of those hours, so many hours, and weekends and holidays and lunch breaks and late nights just meant absolutely nothing! It’s strange though, 2010, as I end this year without a real job, how much freedom and relief I feel. The dark circles under my eyes are fading and I feel much lighter. So, yes, I am a little frightened not to have a real job, but this freelancing stuff isn’t so bad either. Again, I guess I should be thankful for such a terrible breakup. I’m still a little bit angry, but I’m sure that will leave soon.
Did you count the number of breakups I had this year 2010? That’s 3.
And now, 2010, as I get ready to bid you adieu, I ask for a better 2011. I ask for more energy, more strength (did I mention I have to do a Trek this year) and the ability to truly love and serve those I have stewardship over. I ask for the ability to see beyond the immediate future and to keep an eternal perspective. I ask you to bring me peace and to bring a sense of balance into my life. Ask your brother 2011 to bring a little less change, OK?
1 comment:
you are going to be amazing in 2011! you just wait and see! i bet lots of doors will open for you. just hang in there. and i too know what you mean about having strength when it comes to being over YW! been doing it for 4 months now. still don't know what i am doing but we get through each activity and lesson each week so that is saying something... ; ) sorry about your ex-guy and your ex-job. both situations--it's their fault! you are a great person and friend. I'm excited to see what you accomplish in 2011, Miss Fer! And congrats on your niece!!!
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