Dear 2010,

To say that you have been a year of change would be an understatement…maybe even the understatement of the year. Even as I sit here and write this letter to you, I’m not sure I can adequately express how I feel about you, 2010. Part of me hates your freakin’ guts and the other part of me is just so thankful for all I’ve learned and experienced. Part of me wants to start the year all over again and another part of me just wants you to be over and done with. You were, to say the least, quite a rollercoaster.

Even though a lot of change happened this year, I can honestly say that I am thankful for every single experience, good and bad. Thank you 2010 for bringing me a new niece. LizBit is such a precious gift you gave to our family this year. Your brother, 1976, was the last one to bring a girl into our little family. We were overjoyed to welcome another little bundle of pink goodness into our circle of love. Every time a new baby comes into our family I think that I couldn’t possibly love anymore than I already do. But, LizBit showed me that my heart is bigger than I ever imagined. I can’t even express how truly thankful I am for LizBit, CMan, and Mr. Mster. They are everything to me. Their hugs, their kisses, and even the little growls make my heart swell. For giving us LizBit, 2010, you kind of redeem yourself for all of the other garbage that happened. But just kind of.

The summer was certainly a challenge. I can’t really say that I was bothered by the heat, because honestly, I don’t remember it being terribly hot this year. Maybe that’s because I spent most of the summer locked in my office slaving away for a boss who never would truly appreciate me. Oh man, I wish I would have enjoyed some of those summer days a little bit more. I spent that week in the mountains at girls camp. That was my only summer vacation. Kind of pathetic, don’t you think 2010? I know there is a reason I was at girls camp and I know there are specific lessons and experiences that had to happen that week, but a trip to Vegas or NYC would have been nice.

I learned so much being in the Stake Young Womens Presidency. I love those women I served with and when I was released (darn those new stake boundaries) I was truly sad. I felt like I had broken up with my very best friends in the world. And now that I continue to serve with the young women, I truly know why I needed that brief experience in the stake. I needed to learn how a presidency functions, I needed to know all of the different aspects of young women, and I needed to learn to love the youth in a way I never had before. And now, 2010, you expect me to be the leader of this group of girls? I’m trying my best. Please ask 2011 to bring me some extra strength. I have a feeling I’ll be needing it.

Speaking of breakups, that sure sucked big time! I know I say this every time, but I did learn what I want and what I don’t want for my future. I did learn a lot from this relationship and I had a great time. For that, I’m thankful. But seriously, breakups are never fun and never what one puts down as their New Year’s resolutions.

The breakup from the job wasn’t exactly a picnic either. All of those hours, so many hours, and weekends and holidays and lunch breaks and late nights just meant absolutely nothing! It’s strange though, 2010, as I end this year without a real job, how much freedom and relief I feel. The dark circles under my eyes are fading and I feel much lighter. So, yes, I am a little frightened not to have a real job, but this freelancing stuff isn’t so bad either. Again, I guess I should be thankful for such a terrible breakup. I’m still a little bit angry, but I’m sure that will leave soon.

Did you count the number of breakups I had this year 2010? That’s 3.

And now, 2010, as I get ready to bid you adieu, I ask for a better 2011. I ask for more energy, more strength (did I mention I have to do a Trek this year) and the ability to truly love and serve those I have stewardship over. I ask for the ability to see beyond the immediate future and to keep an eternal perspective. I ask you to bring me peace and to bring a sense of balance into my life. Ask your brother 2011 to bring a little less change, OK?

Love,

Jen

Today is a Good Day

I found my camera cord and a G2 pen. Today is going to be a good day. Check out some of the goodies found on my camera.

First up: my birthday. I can't believe pictures haven't been downloaded since then.

This is a self portrait I took, in my car, to document the day. I do believe my age is showing.



Our kind-of-sort-a tradition is to go to Sundance right around my birthday to enjoy the changing leaves.

Here we are on the ski lift.



The Mster loved it.

My toes - a fresh pedicure.

Somewhere right about here I got a nose bleed. And all I had with me was a post it note. Mr. Mster thought it was pretty funny that I had a post it note stuck up to my nose.

A couple of weeks later we enjoyed a hike to Tarzan's Bathtub. That's not the real name of the place, but that's what my dad calls it. We hiked to a lovely little waterfall in Pleasant Grove. Mr. Mster and the CMan did great, expect when that dog came on the trail.





Another kind-of-sort-a tradition is to go bowling on my mom's birthday. Why we choose to go on her birthday is beyond me. This year, I made everyone strike a pose after they got a strike or a spare. I do believe everyone got at least one strike or spare.

Mr. Mster had a great time.


Ams gave us a run for our money with her mad bowling skills.



Jar wasn't bad either.



Grandma Carol does hold the record for the most gutter balls in a row, but I do believe she had a spare in there somewhere as well.



No, I'm not drunk. It's just hard to pose for a self portrait.



I'm pretty sure the CMan "kicked the pants" off of everyone again this year.



Keiko, the original poser.



Obviously that bowling class Papa Chuck took in college is paying off.



Coach was there too, but for some reason I don't have a picture of him. Either he didn't get a strike or a spare (which is possible since he was in the running for the most gutter balls) or he dodged the camera (which is actually more plausible).

In other news, baby LizBit has finally decided to stop growling at me. We're making progress.

This Much I Know

There are few things I know in this life to be absolutely true. I know the sun will rise in the morning, no matter how dark the night is. I know winter will turn to spring, no matter how frozen the ground may be. And I know, without a doubt, that we have a loving and gracious Father in Heaven. He loves each of us, perfectly.

Sometimes, life doesn’t make any sense. You may think you’ve had an answer to your prayers, only to discover later on down the road that everyone has agency. You may think you have life all figured out, only to find out that you know absolutely nothing.

Sometimes, you wait patiently for blessings to come into your life. Sometimes, you even wait years for that blessing. And right when you think, “Oh, maybe this blessing is really going to happen for me” something changes.

Sometimes, jobs are lost and you are left feeling like a failure (check).

Sometimes, boyfriends fall out of your life and you are left wondering what you did this time, even though you are certain it really isn’t you (check).

Sometimes, your dreams have to be put on hold (check). And sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith to really discover what your true dreams are all about (check).

But through it all, no matter how discouraging and frustrating life can be at times, I know for certain that I have a loving Heavenly Father. I know that He loves me and I know that He knows me, individually.

He knows the intents of my heart. He knows what I really want in life and He knows that I’m doing everything I can to follow Him and be obedient.

He knows that there are lives I need to touch and people that need to know what I know. He knows that those hearts and those souls can only be changed by something I will say or do. He knows that I may be an answer to someone else’s prayer.

He knows and I know.

I also know that Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for me. I may not be able to see the forest through the trees at the moment, but He has a perfect plan for me. He has promised me blessings, here in this life and in the eternities. He will do what He has said He will do.

Now it’s just time for me to trust His words.