Friday, October 30, 2009

It's Halloween

It’s no secret that I do not like Halloween. Creepy masks, weird costumes, people eating fake brains! And what’s the deal with spider webs? I spend my time getting rid of those things around my house, not hanging them up for fun. I am not a fan. I mean really, it’s like walking around with a place full of mascots all day. Not my cup of tea, thank you very much.

With that being said, there are two things that I love about Halloween. Thriller and costumes. Not scary costumes, but funny costumes. Actually, just costumes that I make up. If I can brag for a moment, I’m pretty dang good at coming up with funny costumes.

It all started in the 7th grade. It was Halloween and I had to come up with a costume. My mom wasn’t a big fan of Halloween either so we kind of dreaded costumes for school. I came up with a pretty amazing costume…a pencil. Yes, a pencil. I made it myself and it looked awesome.

My next favorite costumer comes when I was about 24. My office at the time took Halloween very seriously, and I decided to play along. That year, I was “partly cloudy with a chance of rain.” And I won first prize at the costume contest. Pretty dang sweet!

Last year, I dressed up as my co-worker.

And this year, I got into the spirit again.

Can’t tell what I am? I’m a Weight Watchers drop out! You can't see it, but my back has a sign that says "Feed Me" and I'm covered with candy wrappers. And yes, I got all of the candy wrappers from my just one day.

But don’t worry, it’s just a costume. I’m still on the WW wagon.

Also, I don't usually wear flowers in my hair. Just testing the durability for a Young Women's project.

Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

So This is Birthday Week

1. I love birthday week.
2. This year was a great birthday week.
3. It’s been over for almost 3 weeks now.
4. But I can still write about it if I want.
5. Donny and Marie were the highlights of birthday week.
6. I wish I had Marie’s legs.
7. I’m almost tempted to try Nutrisystem to look like her.
8. It costs $16 for 3 drinks at the Donny and Marie show.
9. I didn’t care, it was my per diem money.
10. Because I was there on a company trip.
11. Well, I was done with my company trip by this point.
12. I also got a Donny and Marie t-shirt.
13. And Donny magnet.
14. It’s hanging on my office wall now.
15. The magnet, not the shirt.
16. And also, I’m a little bit country.
17. A little bit rock and roll.
18. And a little bit tired of Las Vegas.
19. It was fun shopping at H&M.
20. And going to Hoover Dam.
21. It’s been years since I was at Hoover Dam.
22. And there’s a huge new bridge being built.
23. It’s an engineering marvel.
24. The Dam and the bridge.
25. I like St. George better.
26. The waiters at Iggys gave me a birthday card.
27. And sang.
28. And ice cream.
29. Thanks to the C Man telling the waiter it was my birthday.
30. Coming back to work on my actual birthday isn’t much fun.
31. I wore my Donny and Marie shirt for my birthday.
32. I got trash balled.
33. And lunch.
34. And cake.
35. And flowers.
36. And presents.
37. And an awesome T-shirt.
38. I was also really happy for a homemade meal.
39. And then more cake.
40. This time, greasy lard cake.
41. Because being in Las Vegas for 5 days made me miss real food.
42. I can only handle so much crap food.
43. But Vegas or not, I love greasy lard cake.
44. I’d eat it every day if I could.
45. And if it wouldn’t make me weigh 500 pounds.
46. And then more presents.
47. And more lunch.
48. And more presents.
49. I was really spoiled this year.
50. I have great family and friends.
51. I think they like me.
52. Because who else would spoil a 33 year old like this.
53. And yet another birthday party.
54. With more presents.
55. I got cash at this birthday party.
56. I spent $3 of it.
57. Then put the rest in my wallet.
58. Some punk stole my $17.
59. At the church.
60. If I ever find that punk, they’ll be sorry.
61. I hope I get asked to give a lesson on honesty and integrity.
62. And the punk cash stealer is in that lesson.
63. And feels really guilty.
64. That would be awesome.
65. I think.
66. That was the only bummer part of birthday week.
67. All of this birthday celebration and I’m pretty sure my boss never realized it was my birthday.
68. He’s dense like that.
69. Oh well, at least he didn’t sing to me.
70. Or make me eat one of those nasty day-old donuts.
71. I wonder if because I’m a year older.
72. If I’m really wiser too.
73. I got some of my thank you notes out.
74. Two are still sitting on my kitchen counter.
75. So to you Ang and Kelly.
76. Thank you.
77. Because your notes are sitting on my counter.
78. And thank you Mom too.
79. Because I never wrote you a thank you note.
80. But I do thank you.
81. Something I always like to do on my birthday is ask my mom a question.
82. I ask her, “What were you doing (blank) years ago today?
83. Her answer is always the same.
84. Playing dress up with my new doll.
85. I was the new doll.
86. And believe me, she dressed me up.
87. Dresses, frillies, bows, ruffles.
88. My little panties even had ruffles back then.
89. I didn’t wear a pair of pants until I learned to crawl.
90. And only then because my grandma felt bad for me.
91. Because my knees were getting carpet burn.
92. How did I get on that subject?
93. Oh ya, my mom.
94. Because I didn’t send her a thank you note.
95. And now, birthday week is over.
96. It’s been over for a couple of weeks now.
97. I look forward to next year.
98. Even though I’ll be older.
99. But I’m prepared now.
100. I’ve got some new wrinkle cream.

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a little bit sassy...