Random Randomness

I thought it was time for another round of random thoughts.

• I love, love, love this time of the year! The other night, I turned off all the lights in my house and turned on the Christmas tree. I just sat there and stared at my tree. It was so beautiful!
• I find myself smiling, for no reason at all. Just random smiling attacks. I like it.
• Matt Damon really is the sexist man alive!
• It’s about time someone recognizes my genius!
• “Reunited and it feels so good.” I don’t know why, but that song is stuck in my head right now. I don’t even know the rest of the song. Just that one line.
• I am writing the ward Christmas program. Of all the writing projects I’ve ever done, this one makes me the most nervous!
• I love those moments when something that has been confusing you for years, suddenly becomes very, very clear.
• I also like it when I finally find an answer that I’ve been looking for.
• I like randomness.

Paint

I finally got my living room painted! It was not an easy task (darn rounded corners!) and one I am not looking forward to doing again anytime in the near future.

For the curious, this is the color I chose: Ralph Lauren Poplar Island. It definitely looks more brown in real life.

Small and Simple

I've always known that it's the little things in this life that make a difference. The little things truly become the big things. I've always known this, but I don't know that I ever really believed it. Until now.

Never in my life has the meaning of small and simple meant more to me than it does right now. By small and simple things will great things come to pass. This is an eternal truth.

It's when we take the small things for granted that we will have huge holes in our lives. We may wake up one day and realize that the one, little thing we let slip from our lives would have made the difference. If we would have just kept up the small and simple things, great things truly would have come to pass.

I'm constantly on this path to becoming better. I push myself; I challenge myself; I look for opportunities to grow. From now on, instead of looking for something "great" to change my life, I'm going to focus on the simple things. Line upon line.

Counting My Blessings

It’s that time of the year when we all start thinking about the things we are thankful for. I believe gratitude is something we all need to have more of and listing the things I’m thankful for help me remember how blessed I am. Of course, there is no possible way I could list everything, so I present to you a short compilation of some of my blessings.

I am grateful for….

1. my down pillow. Sleep still isn’t uninterrupted, but my down pillow has made a difference,

2. my nephews. When I left them last night, C wanted me to come home with him so we could play trucks. Those sweet boys sure know how to make you feel loved.

3. confirmation that I’ve made a good choice. It’s in those quiet moments when I’m taught my greatest lessons.

4. good friends. I’ve always been blessed with friends who uplift and teach me. I hope I can be a good friend in return.

5. my job. Because you never know when it may be taken from you.

6. a short commute. I don’t even have to take the freeway if I don’t want to.

7. my heritage. It’s in the stories, memories, and traditions of those who came before me that shape my character.

8. Jane Austen. She’s provided many hours of entertainment.

9. all the guys that have broken my heart. Thank you. Because of you I now know what I want and what I will not settle for.

10. Karen Carpenter. For all the songs I can sing word for word, no matter the state of my singing voice.

You're It

I have a bit of blogger's block at the moment, so I answered the "tag" from Angie's blog. Here are 6 things about me!


1. I love being by myself. I really do. I like to spend time with my family and friends, but there are times when I really just crave time all by myself. In the words of PeeWee Herman, “I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.”

2. I have the tendency to try to make everything “better.” And sometimes, it’s just not my place to make it better. Sometimes you have to figure it all out on your own and suffer through the hard times. But I still want to make things better again.

3. I am a very loyal person. Once you win my trust, I’m loyal forever. Betray my trust, and it will take a long time to win it back. And sometimes, that trust just can’t be won back.

4. I’m a curly haired girl who wishes she was a straight haired girl.

5. I’m neither a morning person or a night person. Is it possible to be a mid-day person? Because I think that’s what I am.

6. I have an insatiable desire to learn. Especially when it comes to studying the Gospel. The problem is I think I have a bit of ADD so I don’t stick to one subject for very long.

One of My Fears

One of my biggest fears is that I'll be like David Beckham. You know, a disappointment that misled his fans.

That, and spiders.

Self Esteem

I don't believe in self esteem. In fact, I think self esteem is a made up concept. Self esteem is the world's way of taking a beautiful, eternal truth and distorting it to fit our mortal views. Self esteem is a dilluted idea for self worth.

I do believe in self worth, in the truth that I have a piece of divinity within me, that I am a daughter of God. I have no doubt of self worth. I am worth much more than the world makes me believe.

This whole idea of self worth is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. When we truly understand our eternal nature we won't have the desire to live a life any less worthy of divine influence. When we truly understand who we are, we can take our self esteem and discard of it - forever.

As a daughter of my Heavenly Father, I realize how important it is for me to daily strive to live to my full potential. The world can throw all of its nastiness at me and it won't matter - because I have an eternal perspective.

Go ahead world, tell me I need to be prettier, thinner, more agressive, assertive, and strong-willed. Tell me anything you want, but I don't have to believe you. I am a daughter of God and nothing the world tells me will change that. Eternal truths last forever.

So with that, I'm tossing my self esteem out the window. I invite you to do the same. Forget about your self esteem and remember your eternal self worth.